You could say I’ve gone completely undercover.
I don’t even go to parties anymore
unless they’re killing a pig
peeling strips of back fat off it
and draping them over the fence.
You’ve maybe been to this kind of party,
where only two or three of the guests speak the language
and there is a lot of bowing and nodding among the
Old Men and Women.
Older than that.
Even older than that.
Much older than that.
(Picture of
REALLY OLD MAN!
OLD TOOTHLESS WOMAN!)
(Laughter! Applause!)
(Take 1)
Obama is much too young a man to be president.
The president can’t be that young. It ain’t seemly.
Kennedy was young—handsome too—but he was
after all,
white,—
Innit!
(Take 2)
Obama is much too young a man to be president.
Should be someone much older, like a
Morgan Freeman
or
what’s another
black president
lookalike?
Oh, yeah,
Geico man.
Innit!
(Take 3)
Obama is much too young to be president.
Maybe if his kids were a little uglier…
more bucktoothed say… … … … … …
(giggles, chuckles, not full applause, a small cough
in the front
but mostly modest
laughter)
…Innit!
When a black man can be the
CEO
of a big ol’ insurance company
like GEICO (Laughter!)
now that’s
ALL CAPS— (Booming relief of laughter!)
G-E-I-C-O,
Period! (Flood of laughter! Relief! That guy is so funny! CEO!)
ACT 2 SC. 1
after all
you tamed
what could not
be tamed.
you with your
young and rosy cheeks.
you tamed what could not be tamed
you by the shade of a river
you by the
(BO-ring.)
(cut to crazy brown man
climbing in the mountains
with a dog at his side—
Eat you an energy bar, fool!)
Hell yeah I’m still protesting
the Vietnam War,
and this is how I show it.
(cut to crazy white man
in Florida swamp
wearing jean shorts
nothing else
real deep tan
wild eyes)
This is how you show it, sir?
By getting drunk out here,
disturbing the peace
out here!?
You lookin’ to excise
some force against me—
and my brothers here,
back up in them there jungles?
(Six to eight patrol officers
with drill sergeant hats and
wearing plastic gloves
look downward, upward
outward)
(Cut to stern
white man
wearing a wool sweater
and reasonable pants
but a crazed look in his eye
just the same)
forest rangers with drawn guns
this time
different clip—
could be Washington where that
Bear Man guy got mauled—him and
his girlfriend. (Dumbasses.)
You can’t live on this island, sir.
This is a protected island.
There are protected species here, sir.
(cut to stern white man)
I am a protected specie, too!
I have a right to live, too!
Undiminished! Amidst this wild
and precious place! (starts to
strip off his clothes standing on
polished black stones
at the water’s edge)
(cut back to Florida swamp man)
Is that it! Use your m—— force
against me! For your information
I am not done protesting
the Vietnam War!
Park rangers capture him with a net,
rough him up—
then shoot him with
rubber bullets in the groin,
kick over his campsite,
write the report
two fingered:
Soiled shorts
en route
to station.
Resisted arrest.
Indecent exposure.
(Laughter! Applause!)