You could say I’ve gone completely undercover.

I don’t even go to parties anymore

unless they’re killing a pig

peeling strips of back fat off it

and draping them over the fence.

You’ve maybe been to this kind of party,

where only two or three of the guests speak the language

and there is a lot of bowing and nodding among the

Old Men and Women.

Older than that.

Even older than that.

Much older than that.

(Picture of




(Laughter! Applause!)


(Take 1)

Obama is much too young a man to be president.

The president can’t be that young. It ain’t seemly.

Kennedy was young—handsome too—but he was

after all,




(Take 2)

Obama is much too young a man to be president.

Should be someone much older, like a

Morgan Freeman


what’s another

black president


Oh, yeah,

Geico man.



(Take 3)

Obama is much too young to be president.

Maybe if his kids were a little uglier…

more bucktoothed say… … … … … …

(giggles, chuckles, not full applause, a small cough

in the front

but mostly modest




When a black man can be the


of a big ol’ insurance company

like GEICO (Laughter!)

now that’s

ALL CAPS— (Booming relief of laughter!)


Period! (Flood of laughter! Relief! That guy is so funny! CEO!)


ACT 2 SC. 1

after all

you tamed

what could not

be tamed.


you with your

young and rosy cheeks.

you tamed what could not be tamed

you by the shade of a river

you by the




(cut to crazy brown man

climbing in the mountains

with a dog at his side—

Eat you an energy bar, fool!)


Hell yeah I’m still protesting

the Vietnam War,

and this is how I show it.


(cut to crazy white man

in Florida swamp

wearing jean shorts

nothing else

real deep tan

wild eyes)


This is how you show it, sir?

By getting drunk out here,

disturbing the peace

out here!?


You lookin’ to excise

some force against me—

and my brothers here,

back up in them there jungles?


(Six to eight patrol officers

with drill sergeant hats and

wearing plastic gloves

look downward, upward



(Cut to stern

white man

wearing a wool sweater

and reasonable pants

but a crazed look in his eye

just the same)


forest rangers with drawn guns

this time

different clip—

could be Washington where that

Bear Man guy got mauled—him and

his girlfriend. (Dumbasses.)


You can’t live on this island, sir.

This is a protected island.

There are protected species here, sir.

(cut to stern white man)

I am a protected specie, too!

I have a right to live, too!

Undiminished! Amidst this wild

and precious place! (starts to

strip off his clothes standing on

polished black stones

at the water’s edge)


(cut back to Florida swamp man)

Is that it! Use your m—— force

against me! For your information

I am not done protesting

the Vietnam War!


Park rangers capture him with a net,

rough him up—

then shoot him with

rubber bullets in the groin,

kick over his campsite,

write the report

two fingered:

Soiled shorts

en route

to station.

Resisted arrest.

Indecent exposure.


(Laughter! Applause!)